We wanted our wedding to be intimate, and our total guest count was 25. We went without traditional bridal parties and instead each had our sisters stand with us as maid of honor and best(wo)man. So when it came time to plan a rehearsal dinner it didn’t make sense to do it in the traditional way. Note: A lot of what is considered the norm or traditional in weddings wasn’t what we wanted, so we did without it. Just because something has “always” been done in the past, doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be.

If you’re planning a Carmel Wedding Weekend, be sure to check out our Day 1 (Wine Tasting) + Carmel Valley Ranch Wedding posts.

We left Saturday open for our guests to spend as they pleased. With their welcome wine, we included a card with suggestions for what to do + where to eat. Many of our guests spent the day together exploring Carmel-by-the-Sea and walking Carmel Beach.

We decided to host a dinner the night before our wedding for all of our guests. We looked at venue rentals, but the thought of paying thousands of dollars to rent a space the night before paying thousands of dollars to rent a space for our wedding seemed a little crazy to us. We asked Olivia, the manager and Wonder Woman of Lamp Lighter Inn, if we could host our rehearsal dinner in the courtyard of Lamp Lighter Inn. Not only did she say yes, she and her staff set up the entire space for us. On top of that, there was one room that was not booked by our guests + she blocked it off so that no other guests would be on site for the night of our rehearsal dinner. For as long as Olivia works at Lamp Lighter Inn, I will sing their praises! It is charming + cozy, in the perfect location, + has the most wonderful people working there.

Lamp Lighter Inn is made up of a number of small buildings all surrounding a courtyard with multiple seating areas + fireplaces. The buildings are all white with blue trim, so we used that as our inspiration and asked guests to dress in white + shades of blue, and used the colors as inspiration for our table settings.

Lamp Lighter Inn has a small kitchenette area that we used to set up a buffet line for dinner from La Bicyclette, we brought in beer + wine from Costco, purchased desserts from local bakeries (Elliot + Zach took this job very seriously), + brought in Boards with Bella to do a charcuterie spread as an appetizer. We also rented a champagne cart from Bubbly Bar Co. to have during the “cocktail hour” portion. Lauren created a series of Spotify playlists to take us through the night + we played them through a bluetooth speaker. We used Chic Event Rentals for all of our rentals, I spray painted black candlesticks from IKEA gold + picked up vases from IKEA to hold flowers from Trader Joes. Pro Tip: We used hydrangeas for the centerpieces. When arranging the flowers, Elliot’s friend + owner of Flor Keeps, Santi, told us that hydrangeas receive their water from the petals, not the stems. He suggested dipping the flowers in water first before putting them in the vases to help them keep fresh.

All in, we spent right around $3,500 for the night. Most venues were quoting $3-4,000 just for the event space, so we were happy with the cost. While we certainly saved on certain aspects (for example, we opted not to hire a bartender + just did beer + wine), I never felt like the dinner felt budget or cheap. Even aspects that could certainly have felt cheap, like the fact that the dinner was pizza, we made sure that the quality was high so that it felt elevated. There’s nothing wrong with bringing in alcohol from Costco (especially since you don’t need to be a member to purchase it + they allow returns) + it can be a great way to save money. I do, however, think it is important to keep quality in mind. Costco offers high quality wines at a discounted rate. Don’t always go for the cheapest option.

We started the evening with a cocktail hour with the Boards with Bella charcuterie + Bubbly Bar Co. champagne cart. At the start of cocktail hour we had called in a to-go order to La Bicyclette. We did a number of pizzas + salads, as well as a few entrees for our guests with allergies. My wonderful mother-in-law went to go pick up the food a few blocks away and our parents helped get all of the food set up for us. This was not my intention! Elliot + I did not want any of our guests to lift a finger the entire weekend (I actually gave specific instruction to two friends to not clean up anything…they did not listen). I firmly believe that guests should be there to simply enjoy the event. However, as mentioned in Day 1, Elliot + I are blessed to have some of the best people in the world as our nearest + dearest. Offering is very different than asking.

Everyone sat down to dinner as we entered “Phase Two” of Lauren’s Spotify playlist. I had asked mum to give a toast at our rehearsal dinner (As noted above, I’m not super into “tradition”. There’s so much for the father of the bride to do, but no special moment for the mother. I knew that I wanted to give Mum a moment if she wanted it.) + together with my mother-in-law they gave a speech dedicated to the previous generations. They shared the history of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents—pictures included—that led us to this day. Considering none of my extended family was able to make the trip from Ireland, it was lovely to have a nod to those who came before us.

After dinner people were able to enjoy a spread of desserts from local Carmel-by-the-Sea bakeries. The fireplaces turned on + people broke off into groups for the evening. We eventually retired to our suite where Lauren would spend the night with me + Elliot would go to stay with Zach. I, as always, did not want the night to end + attempted to trap all of our friends in the room with us. We decided to forego Lauren’s “Phase Three” playlist instead opting for “All To Well 10 Minute Version” (it is, hands down, my favorite song to sing along to) which meant that Zach, Elliot, + his friends decided it was time to clear out. That left us to karaoke the night away (fun fact: Lauren’s karaoke song is “The House That Built Me” by Miranda Lambert…if anyone knows of a karaoke bar where people are looking to cry, we’d love to visit).