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welcome to our blog. we are sisters and best friends. kelda lives in the bay area and lauren lives in nyc. together, we share all things travel, money and more. our mission is to provide actionable tips that still let you live your life! thanks for visiting!

Wedding Series: Planning A Destination Wedding - Answering All Of Your Burning Questions!

Wedding Series: Planning A Destination Wedding - Answering All Of Your Burning Questions!

Anna Gomes Photo / K’s stunning dress was from BHLDN. Pippa + Kate were our inspo - naturally.

YAY! If you’ve landed on this page, chances are you’re recently engaged + contemplating a destination wedding! Or you’re just wedding obsessed - no judgement - watching stranger’s wedding videos is one of my favorite past times. Kelda + I had so much fun taking you through our Wedding Series over the past year + covering all things budget, bridesmaid, bachelorette + more! Now that the Big Day is a few weeks behind us, we have a few final posts coming your way.

Please note that weddings are highly personal, so the below is just my own experience + opinion - not necessarily right or wrong. I mean, to be completely honest, I was extremely hungover the morning of my wedding after a champagne fueled pajama party with my bridesmaids. Clearly, my advice will not be for everyone + that’s okay! Click HERE for the super cute pajamas though!

Anna Gomes Photo // Champagne fueled night followed by a champagne fueled morning. Admittedly, I am a champagne snob, but,even if you’re not, be sure to have a good bottle for the photos! Nothing more cringe-worthy than engagement + wedding pics with Andre…

Without further ado, today’s post is dedicated to an intensive FAQ around all things destination wedding, but there are also helpful tips for all brides. I’ll also include links to vendors where applicable for any Cabo brides reading!

SO…WHY DESTINATION?

Obviously a destination wedding is not for everyone, but it was perfect for Zach + I for a few reasons!

  1. Weather - We didn’t want to wait more than 12-16 months to get married + we also both knew that we wanted our wedding day to be warm and sunny. Because we got engaged on December 31st, to fall within that time frame + still be sunny in Seattle would have meant a wedding that following summer - 6-9 months later. While I fully trust my own planning abilities in that short window, there were just no venues that we liked with availability that close in.

  2. Intimacy - Both Zach + I are very social people, but always treasure small gatherings with close friends over big parties. We knew we wanted the same thing from our wedding as well. It is much easier to justify a smaller guest list + limit hurt feelings when the wedding is a destination. In addition, not only does the guest list get to be smaller, but the percentage of people that RSVP “yes” will inevitably be smaller as well. Much easier to achieve the intimate vibes we were going for.

  3. Travel - Duh, you have to travel for a destination wedding + this was actually a huge selling factor for us. Obviously, Kelda + I run a travel blog, so traveling is one of our greatest passions. But, for Zach + I in particular, travel has been our greatest shared activity + something that has bonded us from the very early days of our relationship. As a guest at previous destination weddings, traveling to a new place with friends enhanced my whole experience + the added time to hang out together made it so special.

HOW DID YOU PICK THE CITY/COUNTRY?

We landed on Cabo for so many reasons that seemed to come together perfectly!!

  1. Cabo was Zach + I’s first international trip together that inspired countless more vacations to come, so will always hold a soft spot in our hearts!

  2. A majority of our guests - 90% - were coming from Seattle. While we knew a destination wedding would be a big ask for everyone, we still wanted it to be as accessible as possible. There are multiple direct flights each day from Seattle to Cabo and the flight takes just under 4 hours. The location made it possible for guests to just come for the 3-day weekend if they desired. In addition, there were plenty of deals to be found. Flights for the holiday weekend were just $350 round trip. We both opted to use miles instead. K got the BEST deal for Delta Comfort+ for her and E. (We both love our Delta card. If you’re interested in signing up, do so HERE through our referral link for additional bonus miles! Find all of our best air mile tips HERE.)

  3. Lastly, Cabo had been my ultimate wedding dream since college. I had never actually thought I would end up getting married there, but, once we landed on a destination wedding, Cabo was the natural choice! It is the number one destination wedding location in the WORLD, so the number of venues, vendors, planners, etc. was plentiful + made things super easy.

HOW DID YOU PICK THE DATE + VENUE?

Because Kelda - the most amazing MOH to ever walk the planet - is a teacher, we knew that our wedding needed to be on a holiday weekend or school break in order for her to be able to attend. There was only one holiday weekend date available within 1.5 years of our engagement date at our venue - February 16th. We didn’t want to wait longer than that, so the date was an easy decision!

Anna Gomes Photo // MOH goals. K was there for me literally every step of the way!

The venue I had actually discovered a few years prior on Instagram. In college, my dream wedding venue was the famed Flora Farms. I stalked the venue for years and because of that, became aware when a younger, more fun + more sophisticated (in my opinion) venue came on the scene - Acre Baja. My dream venue quickly shifted to Flora Farms’ next door neighbor, Acre + I was sold. Our wedding planners did walk us through several other venue options that we considered, but, ultimately., my heart was with Acre.

One note to anyone picking a date for their destination wedding - PLEASE make sure it is actually at a desirable time to visit that location. November - April would be the most pleasant times to visit Cabo, in my opinion. August - mid October not only have a hurricane risk, but, from personal experience, are extremely hot, humid + unpleasant times to visit. When your guests are making such a trek, don’t pick a date without considering the overall weather + enjoyability. Yes, it will be more expensive, but for a reason.

VENUE: ACRE BAJA

DID YOU VISIT BEFORE THE WEDDING?

We had been to Cabo, of course, before deciding to get married there, but we had never actually seen our venue prior to booking it. I have since visited all of our initial Cabo venue options + can safely say I would not have changed my mind, but if you have the time and flexibility, I would suggest making a visit before booking your venue, or sometime before the wedding, just to give you that added confidence. We knew we could only make one visit pre-wedding + decided to make that visit closer to our wedding to do our menu tastings, floral review, etc. We felt that was ultimately more important. If you aren’t able to visit at all, that’s okay too! We had such a fabulous planning team + I would have felt comfortable making 100% of the decisions over email if we had needed to.

DO YOU THINK IT’S ESSENTIAL TO HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER? IF SO, HOW DO YOU PICK A PLANNER?

Regardless of where your wedding is located, my number one piece of advice - hands down - is to hire a wedding planner, if you can swing it. Our entire year of wedding planning was completely stress-free, so much fun + allowed us to spend every second of our engagement connecting as a couple. Ugh vom, I know. We spent 9% of our total wedding budget on our planner, so definitely understand it isn’t for everyone. We made some sacrifices in order to have this service, but we wouldn’t change this for a second.

For a destination wedding in particular, I would highly recommend prioritizing this expense. To have someone who lives in the country, speaks the local language, knows the vendors + can actually attend meetings for you in person is just invaluable. This is all coming from an extremely type A, planning extraordinaire.

If you know you want to have a planner (or even if you’re hiring a month-of/day-of coordinator), I would recommend doing extensive research online, asking fellow brides for reviews + suggestions +, if you already have your venue, asking them for suggestions. Narrow it down to a few of your top favorites + interview those people. If someone makes it to your “interview” stage, chances are they are qualified + reputable. At that point, it’s just about finding the right connection. Make sure that you actually like the person. You’re going to spend a year (or more) of your life working with them. It should be enjoyable. We already can’t wait to go back to Cabo + enjoy a night out with our planning team!

WEDDING PLANNER: VIVID OCCASIONS

Anna Gomes Photo '/ Every aspect of our wedding was classic, timeless + minimalist including my day of jewelry. I went with Poppy Finch for my earrings + bracelet and the ring was a very sentimental gift from K. She got the same one for her, our mum + I!

IS IT CHEAPER TO HAVE A DESTINATION WEDDING?

There is no “one size fits all” answer to this question. I would say it absolutely can be if you want it to be, but it isn’t automatically cheaper just because it is destination. This is a very common misconception. To be completely transparent, we spent over $50,000 for a 45 person wedding - 47 including us. This was before taking into account our own flights, accommodation, etc. I would caution anyone against deciding on a destination wedding solely to save money. In addition, think about your guest’s experience - this was key for Zach + I. We actually felt even more of an obligation to go above + beyond make it a special for our guests as they were spending more time, money + energy to celebrate with us.

HOW DID YOU ALLOCATE YOUR BUDGET?

  • Reception: Food, Drinks + Staffing = 26% of total wedding budget

  • Photography + Videography = 10% of total wedding budget

  • Planning = 9% of total wedding budget

  • Flowers + Decor = 9% of total wedding budget

  • Day of Apparel/Shoes/Accessories = 8% of total wedding budget

  • Venue Rental/Location Fee = 7% of total wedding budget

  • Rehearsal Dinner = 4.5% of total wedding budget

  • Welcome Party + Welcome Gifts = 4% of total wedding budget

  • Music = 4% of total wedding budget

  • Wedding Bands = 4% of total wedding budget

  • Guest Transportation = 3% of total wedding budget

  • Wedding Party + Family Thank You Gifts = 3% of total wedding budget

  • Paper (Invitations, Menus, Table Numbers, Welcome Letters) = 2% of total wedding budget

  • Other (Officiant, Hair + Makeup, Cold Fireworks, Transaction Fees, Tips, etc.) = 6.5% of total wedding budget

*For a complete list of all vendors, please visit the end of this post!

Anna Gomes Photo // Bridesmaid dresses were from Dessy Group; Color Cameo + Fabric Matte Chiffon; K’s MOH dress was from BHLDN.

IN WHAT WAYS WAS PLANNING A DESTINATION WEDDING SIMILAR TO A LOCAL WEDDING? HOW WAS IT DIFFERENT?

Obviously, I’ve only planned one wedding, so can’t be totally sure on this, but from watching friends plan local weddings + from my extensive wedding obsession, I can say it wasn’t that different overall. You still have all of the same big decisions - venue, music, photographer, food, dress, etc. - that all other brides do. The part that is most different -that can either be seen as a blessing or a stress - is that you make most of these decisions without ever seeing anything or meeting anyone in person.

For me, it made the whole experience much less stressful. I made decisions quickly, went with my gut + never looked back. If I had a local wedding, I know that I would have been the kind of person meeting with as many potential vendors as possible, needing to see each step of the process in person + constantly going back to make changes - aka majorly uptight + bridezilla. The fact that I hadn’t even seen my venue prior to booking it gave me a very chill approach to the entire planning experience.

HOW FAR IN ADVANCE DID YOU COMMUNICATE INFORMATION TO YOUR GUESTS?

For a destination wedding, I would suggest letting your guests know between 8-10 months in advance. We sent our Save The Dates in April for a February wedding. People have limited vacation days, budgets, etc. + often allocate their time and money for travel well in advance. You want to give them ample opportunity to be able to attend. That being said, be careful about sending them too early. First, you want to have enough planned to give guests relevant information - hotel block, event schedule, etc., so that at the very least they can plan flight dates + accommodations. Second, relationships can change + budget becomes even more real. If you send Save The Dates too far in advance, you could risk inviting people that you ultimately decide against inviting or inviting more people than you can realistically budget for once you get further into planning.

DID A LOWER PERCENTAGE OF GUESTS RSVP YES?

Again, I have only planned one wedding + I imagine this answer would be different for every bride. However, I have heard that 80% is common for a local wedding + 50% is common for a destination wedding. We invited 91 guests + had 45, ultimately, attend. Almost exactly to the 50% that we were told when we began planning. You will be surprised by the people who say no, as well as the people who say yes, but, either way, I think 50% is a good ratio to plan for.

Anna Gomes Photo // If you need any help putting together the perfect wedding toast, K is an expert!

DID ANY GUESTS HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT TRAVELING OR ABOUT THE OVERALL EXPENSE?

Yes. As any bride knows, there will always be someone that is upset with every wedding decision that you make, but you need to do what feels right in your heart. Obviously, don’t be psycho, but you only get married once, you want to look back with as few regrets as possible. For a destination wedding in particular, I think it’s important to be super gracious + understanding towards anyone who can’t attend or has concerns about attending. As I said, half of our guests RSVP-ed “no” and there were no hard feelings on my end. It isn’t your job to change the location or cost for them, but simply to be understanding of their ultimate decision.

WHERE DID YOUR GUESTS STAY?

One of the highlights of our entire wedding week was the time spent with our friends by the pool, hanging out in our hotel rooms or going out at night in the days leading up to the wedding. I loved that a majority of our guests stayed with us and those that didn’t were easily able to come by the pool or beach during the day.

Finding the perfect hotel was something that I dedicated a great amount of time to. The wedding hotel will be the first indication that your guests have of what to expect for the week + really sets the overall tone. I would look for three main things:

Anna Gomes Photo // View from our hotel suite. Cabo has my favorite sunsets in the world + this was the most incredible place to watch them!!

  • Affordable, but not cheap - You want the hotel to be within a majority of your guest’s budgets, while still feeling “nice.” As a guest, I always try to stay at the wedding hotel + I wouldn’t be thrilled to spend my week long vacation at a Holiday Inn. I don’t mean for that to sound snobby by any means; I actually prefer something in that family for a local/domestic one-night weekend wedding, but, when people are going on a true vacation, I think they prefer something a little different!

  • Proximity to activities - We opted to stay closer to our wedding + welcome party venue. Those were events that we knew all of our guests would be attending + we wanted it to be easy + convenient for them. This did put us further away from nightlife, but we made that decision knowing it affected fewer members of the total wedding party.

  • Food, amenities, etc. - This is a personal opinion, but I am not a fan of all-inclusive hotels. Not because I don’t think the food is good, I think it definitely can be, but because I prefer to leave the hotel + explore the local surroundings when I’m on vacation. Sure, some of your guests may love all-inclusive, but don’t lock everyone into this plan by assuming that all of them do. In addition, for a wedding in particular, there are already a handful of events that will be catered, further decreasing the value of your guest’s all inclusive-plan. That being said, if you aren’t doing an all-inclusive plan, make sure there are pool bars, restaurants, etc. for when people do choose to hang back at the hotel.

  • Note: When booking a room block, definitely try to negotiate a comped room for yourself, if even just for the night of the wedding. We did this at every hotel that we contacted about blocks. Ultimately, the hotels that agreed to comp our stay were all higher-end properties that would have resulted in more expensive rooms for our guests. We opted to select a better value resort for our guests, even though that meant we did not have our own stay comped. Still always try!!

WEDDING HOTEL: CABO AZUL RESORT

IS IT ESSENTIAL TO HAVE WELCOME BAGS/PARTIES, ETC.?

The whole squad at our Welcome Party at Javier’s!

Essential, no. Nice, yes. As I mentioned before, our guest’s experience was paramount to all of our decisions + we wanted them to really feel our love and gratitude. We did host both a welcome party + deliver welcome gifts for all of our guests. That being said, I have always believed that anything worth doing is worth doing well. If it isn’t in your budget to throw a welcome party or to give a substantial welcome bag (aka not junk), I would skip it + either save the money or put it towards something more meaningful.

WELCOME PARTY: JAVIER’S (followed by an optional private sunset dinner cruise through CABO WAVE)

WELCOME GIFTS: BELLS & WHISTLES

Anna Gomes Photo // Obsessed with our welcome gifts from Bells & Whistles Cabo. We included little notes for our guests along with these gift boxes + worked with the concierge staff to have them delivered to everyone’s rooms as a fun surprise! We made sure to get extra for those staying elsewhere too!

Sunset cruise with the fam! This was a hit with our guests + for any destination bride, I would highly recommend planning an activity that helps guests to see and explore the place they are visiting!

AS A GUEST, CAN I BRING A PLUS ONE? WHAT IF I WON’T KNOW ANYBODY ELSE?

Okay, this is a VERY hot topic. As I said at the beginning of this post, there is no right or wrong opinion - truly - about anything wedding related. However, in my personal opinion, yes. For a destination wedding in particular, I would never expect someone to travel a significant distance without their significant other - not because I don’t believe in independence, but people like to share vacations with their partner, it helps with overall expenses + it is comforting if you might not know other guests.

I think it’s always worth asking the bride or groom, as long as you’re open to the answer being no. We had a few guests get into relationships after our invitations were sent out + were able to include significant others because they asked. We wanted all significant others to be included if the guest wanted them to be + some relationships were just too new for us to have known or included them without being directly asked. As with all things in life, use your best judgement, but I was not upset by the plus-one question at all.

AS A GUEST, IS IT OKAY TO STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE?

Of course!! Your money + vacation, your decision. I will say that I have had SO much fun staying at the wedding hotel in the past. It is such a great way to bond with the other guests, take advantage of some of the wedding amenities (welcome bags, complimentary transportation, etc.), but, by all means, if it isn’t your thing, don’t do it, especially if it is a stretch for your budget.

I will say for areas with a high amount of destination weddings (Cabo is the number one city in the WORLD), hotels require that you hit a certain percentage of rooms booked in your block or you will incur a charge. For example, we blocked 20 rooms + if we didn’t fill 18 of them, we would have been required to pay for 3 nights for each of the remaining rooms. If you’re opting to stay at a similarly priced hotel in a similar location, it could help the bride and groom out a ton if you choose to stay at their wedding hotel. However, if it’s out of your budget or not in a convenient location for the other activities that you have planned, then definitely feel free to make other plans! Also - as a bride, don’t make anyone feel badly about this! In the back of my mind, I was stressed about hitting our room block number, but I never once mentioned to a guest the charges we might incur if they stayed somewhere different. I’ve seen this mentioned on a few wedding websites + think it is so awkward and crass. Again - just my opinion.

Anna Gomes Photo // SO many tears the entire weekend. Love this pic of K + Dad.

AS A GUEST, AM I STILL EXPECTED TO GIVE A GIFT?

I preface this answer by saying that issues of etiquette are highly personal + controversial. I can share my own opinions + actions, but that doesn’t make them “right” or “wrong.” As a destination bride, I can say I absolutely did not expect to receive gifts from any guest. We did receive quite a few gifts - and generous gifts at that - and we were absolutely blown away + beyond appreciative. Truly!

That being said, I personally do choose to always give a gift regardless of the expense incurred to attend an event. I’ve attended weddings as close as 1 mile away + weddings as far away as Thailand and I have always given a gift. When attending as a guest, I have never adjusted the value of my gift based on the expense of attending the wedding. I gave a gift that reflected what I could personally afford + what I felt my relationship with the bride and groom warranted. The common rule of thumb is that you have up to a year to give a wedding gift as a guest, so even if you have a hard time budgeting for a gift in the midst of the wedding expenses, I do think that there is a way to make it work following the wedding.

Lastly, please do not try to give a gift equivalent to the “cost per plate.” Unless your wedding was at the same venue/with the same caterer, chances are you have 0 idea what the cost for you to attend was. I suggest varying levels based on your own budget + your relationship to the couple. My own personal guide goes like this + should be multiplied by 1.5 if you’re bringing a date + 2 if your date is also close to the couple, but, obviously adjust according to your own financial circumstances. If you’re attending multiple wedding events (engagement party, bridal shower, etc.), I think it’s totally fair to consider those gifts towards the total.

  • Loose connections: Co-worker, more distant relative, acquaintance, etc. - $50

  • Friend, closer co-worker, etc. - $100

  • Best friend, immediate family member - $150 or more

Of course one exception that I think is absolutely fair is if you are a member of the wedding party. Bridesmaids + groomsmen incur significantly more expenses than the average guest and, while I personally would still give a gift, I think it is entirely acceptable if you are not able to.

HOW DID YOU TRANSPORT DRESS, SUIT, ETC.?

I would imagine this is a concern for many brides, even those not planning a true “destination” wedding, but not something I ever worried about. Everyone that I had asked said that the airline staff were super kind + offered to keep their dress in either their own personal closets or the first class closets. This is exactly what happened for me - on both flights - and I wouldn’t worry too much about it!!

HOW DID YOU HANDLE DECOR?

For a destination wedding, just be aware that it could be a little more complicated to transport decor, signs, DIY crafts, etc. Either you mail it to your venue or planner + risk it getting lost or damaged in the mail or you bring it with you on the plane which can be expensive (hello baggage fees!) and a bit of a nuisance. If you don’t want to deal with that, it would be a good idea to budget a little extra for decor rentals. In general, I detest all things crafting, DIY, etc., so even if I had gotten married locally, I probably would have rented most of my decor.

IS THE WEDDING LEGAL? WHO OFFICIATES THE CEREMONY?

Every country is different, so there isn’t a general answer around this. For Mexico, in particular, our ceremony was technically symbolic. Mexico has a lot of rules around legal wedding ceremonies that even involve getting a blood test in the country a few days prior to the event. We opted to skip the blood tests, use that time to enjoy a few extra margaritas + do our legal ceremony back at home in Seattle.

Anyone can officiate your ceremony, If you have a close friend or family member that you would want to officiate, ask them! Not only will it be that much more sentimental, it’s also an easy way to save money. We spent $475 on our officiant - not a huge expense by any means, but simple to cut if you can. That being said, we were obsessed with our minister + are still getting rave reviews about him from people! He officiated Eli Manning + countless other celeb weddings, has a comedy special on Netflix + is just all around an amazing guy!!

OFFICIANT: MINISTER MARCO

DO YOU STILL GET TO GO ON A HONEYMOON?

How amazing is the rooftop pool at our minimoon hotel!? Also, a tamarind margarita is my personal favorite - love the spice - and I would highly recommend trying one! Swimsuit is KAOHS.

If you want to, yes! It’s your life! Obviously, a great perk of a destination wedding is that you are probably already in a sunny, relaxing part of the world + could totally make that your honeymoon if you wanted to. However, it doesn’t have to be! Zach + I opted for a minimoon + spent four nights at a nearby hotel with a more romantic, boutique, adults only feel. It is one of my favorite trips we have ever been on + one of my most treasured memories. I can’t imagine having gone straight back to work after such a magical weekend + I would suggest a minimoon to anyone who isn’t planning an immediate honeymoon.

That being said, yes, we are still going on a honeymoon! Have you ever known me to turn down a trip!? K has planned the entire thing. We gave her a budget, dates + the vibe we were going for and will find out our destination at the airport!! We are all set to leave on June 25th. Follow along on Insta for all the deets + don’t forget our travel consultations and trip planning services if this sounds fun for you!! If you want to plan a trip of your own, be sure to check out our extensive travel guides HERE! Also, we were able to cover a majority of the 10-day honeymoon with points earned through our Chase card. If you haven’t already signed up + are still missing the memo, take advantage of a 60,000 point sign-up bonus HERE.

MINIMOON HOTEL: HOTEL EL GANZO

We’ll be doing a more in-depth Q&A on our Instagram about all things wedding and/or Cabo this Wednesday! Grab your wine + join us. Be sure to submit any questions you have in the comments below!!

xoxo

Anna Gomes Photo // These cold fireworks were such a fun surprise for guests during our first dance!

COMPLETE VENDOR LIST:

RECEPTION: ACRE BAJA

PHOTOGRAPHY: ANNA GOMES PHOTO

VIDEOGRAPHY: JORGE IBARRA FILMS

FLOWERS + DECOR: BLUSH N ROSES

DAY OF APPAREL:

VENUE: ACRE BAJA

REHEARSAL DINNER: LOS TRES GALLOS

WELCOME PARTY: JAVIER’S

SUNSET DINNER CRUISE: CABO WAVE

WELCOME GIFTS: BELLS AND WHISTLES

CEREMONY MUSIC: CABO STRINGS

COCKTAIL HOUR + RECEPTION MUSIC: DJ MIJARES

WEDDING BANDS: BONY LEVY

GUEST TRANSPORTATION: IMPALA CABO

HAIR + MAKEUP: LOS CABOS MAKEUP

OFFICIANT: MINISTER MARCO

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