Wedding Series: The Bridesmaid Edition - How To Tackle The Costs Of Your BFF's Big Day!
Hello, HENRYs + welcome to the 4th installment in our Wedding Series! Seriously, going to be so sad when these are over! If you’re new around here, ever since Lauren got engaged last year, we’ve been chronicling our two favorite topics - money + travel - as they relate to weddings! We’ve covered budgeting (who + how to ask), planning the perfect bachelorette party (+ having those money conversations) + the perfect LA bachelorette guide (complete with wine tasting + a Real Housewives bar crawl).
Next up in our Wedding Series, we’re breaking down the expenses of being a bridesmaid + how to manage them, as well as the cost of having bridesmaids for the bride! There are a ton of resources + (honestly) bitchy, at times, articles out there about how expensive it is to be a bridesmaid, but there are very few out there that ever mention how expensive it is to actually have bridesmaids too, as well as how to mitigate financial stress if you do accept the honor. To help us put this article together, we turned to our lovely Insta followers to poll them on their experiences as bridesmaids. Follow us if you haven’t already to get in our future polls! We’re also here to give our own opinions because in this dynamic duo we have both bride (Lauren) and maid of honor (Kelda).
So…How Much Does Being A Bridesmaid Cost Anyway?
To help us get a general consensus, we created a survey on Instagram to determine the average expectation of cost as a bridesmaid. The options were $0-250, $251-500, $501-750, and $751+. Here’s how our followers voted:
16% voted $0 - $250
31% voted $251 - $500
33% voted $501 - 750
20% voted $751+
As former (and current) bridesmaids, we can attest that accepting this responsibility is no cheap task. When thinking about the costs involved though, I think it’s important to differentiate between the costs that are truly “wedding party” costs + those that are indicative of being a guest. For example, to attend any wedding, you would expect to cover accommodation, travel, gift + often a new outfit.
For Lauren’s wedding, I will be flying to Cabo + staying at a resort for a week. However, the same would be true, regardless of whether or not I was in the wedding + at the rate that I travel, while I may not have planned to visit Cabo, this is simply taking the place of a vacation that I likely would have been going on at some point anyway.
I’ll be honest, for Lauren’s wedding in particular, I’m spending well over $1,000 to be her maid of honor. However, she’s my sister + best friend. I would not commit to spending that much money for literally anyone else’s wedding. My costs have included: maid of honor dress, bachelorette party (flight, accommodations, gifts, etc.), bridal shower + gift (hosted with our mum who took on the majority of the expenses), + wedding gift. Lauren has been incredibly lenient + flexible in order to save me + the other bridesmaid’s money. Things like giving us a range of dress options at different price points, providing us with significant notice before any expense such as hair/makeup or dresses were due + being willing to cover us if we needed a little more time have all helped so much + are things I will do in the future too. Lauren also paid her own way for literally everything on her bachelorette weekend. She’s by no means being a bridezilla, but it’s still expensive to be in her wedding.
Should You Accept The Invitation?
This is a question that should be considered whether you’re deliberating being a bridesmaid or simply attending as a guest. Just going to a wedding can be incredibly expensive + as common or humorous as it has become, NOBODY SHOULD BE GOING INTO DEBT TO ATTEND A WEDDING!
When we took to Instagram to poll our followers on this, 63% of our followers said they would NEVER decline a bridesmaid proposal. Honestly, we get it. It’s usually an honor to be asked. This person is asking you to stand next to them + be a part of their special day. It would be awkward AF if you didn’t feel the friendship was reciprocal in that sense + have to say no, thanks. BUT we’ve all just talked about how expensive it is to be in a wedding. If you don’t feel close enough to the bride, or it would genuinely be a financial burden for you, SAY NO.
Not sure how to say no? Here’s a sample statement to say to the bride to be:
“[Bride’s name], I’m so honored to be asked to be your bridesmaid/maid of honor + stand by you on your special day! I really value our friendship + I know that you didn’t take this lightly. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that I can financially commit to the obligations of being a bridesmaid this year + I know that you deserve to have people who can be 100% committed and supportive. I would love to participate in other ways to support you on your wedding day! I’m so happy for you + [partner’s name] + can’t wait to celebrate your love!”
You’ve Accepted…Now How Do You Pay For It?
Being Lauren’s maid of honor is something that I’ve had to actively budget for, with the addition of also budgeting for a vacation, as the wedding is out of town. If you’re committing to being in someone’s wedding, you’re committing to taking on a big expense, one that cannot be taken without serious consideration + a look at your budget. How did I help budget for being in Lauren’s wedding?
Planned Ahead (duh): I knew Z was going to propose to Lauren 4 months before he actually did (proof that I’m a good secret keeper, right?). In those 4 months, I didn’t actively set aside money in my budget, but I took what was left each month + moved it into a separate savings account. Once they were finally engaged, I started actively building this into my budget. I did this by adjusting my “fun” money every month. I saved, on average, $75/month to put into my separate savings account. By the time Lauren + I booked our flights for her bachelorette party, I had almost $700 saved. It may seem a little bit crazy, but based on your answers to our survey, being a bridesmaid is usually $500 or more. This money doesn’t just come out of nowhere, so planning ahead to some degree is necessary to make the costs more bearable.
Had Honest Conversations: This can be tough. Especially if you’re not particularly close to anyone else in the bridal party. I sent out a Google Form to ask the bridesmaids what they were comfortable spending for the bachelorette party + used that to plan a weekend that would work for everyone (Lauren included). It also meant that I had to have honest conversations about money even when it wasn’t related to the wedding. I had to take into consideration my spending in other areas of my life to see if it made sense or was really worth it.
Booked Cheap Trips (duh): Would we be Hello HENRYs if we didn’t mention cheap travel? For Lauren’s bachelorette weekend in LA, we snagged RT Delta flights for just $148 thanks to a $50 off promo we had with our Delta credit cards. For the wedding weekend in Cabo, I used 55,000 Delta air miles to book TWO RT Delta flights in COMFORT PLUS for me and E…literally 27,500 for a holiday weekend trip to Cabo in comfort plus?? Love Delta.
One thing we realized in conversation with friends (+ honestly that we both really realized when planning L’s wedding) is that while it can be crazy expensive to be a bridesmaid, it isn’t free to have them either which brings us to our final note..
Having Bridesmaids Is Expensive Too!
For this question, we did a survey option that listed ranges of $0-250, $251-500, $501-750, and $751+ regarding how much people expect to spend on their bridesmaids as a bride. Here’s how our followers voted:
61% voted $0 - $250
27% voted $251 - $500
9% voted $501 - 750
3% voted $751+
Now before you point out that the percentages are way more skewed towards the bottom $ ranges, remember that brides typically have multiple bridesmaids. That means that they’re expecting to pay within that range for each bridesmaid. Lauren has six bridesmaids, which means even if she’s spending in the least expensive range (which the majority of people said they did), she’s still paying anywhere from $0 (lol) - $1,500 to have her bridesmaids.
Again, there are costs that don’t really count (i.e. their meals, drinks, etc.) because you’d be paying for that even if they weren’t in the wedding. However, having bridesmaids brings up a ton of expenses for the bride too - in addition to her paying for, you know, the actual wedding. Typical costs include bridesmaid proposal, thank you gifts at all wedding-related events, as well as the wedding itself, bridesmaid bouquet, the cost of a plus one, attendance for bridesmaid + guest at rehearsal dinner - the list goes on! Keep this in perspective throughout the process too - your friend is often paying just as much to have you be part of her day as you are to be in it! For brides reading, keeping your bridal party small - or to just an MOH/Best Man - is an easy way to cut a few thousand (yes, you read that correctly) out of your wedding budget!
We are just 3 weeks out from leaving for Cabo + are so excited!! We promise that a few more installments in our Wedding Series are coming. Let us know what you want to hear in the next one, as well as some tips that have worked for you to mitigate costs of attending weddings! Also - any bridesmaid horror stories are also always welcome.
